As we enter 2021, it seems an appropriate time to reflect on 2020. For certain, it has been a year like no other. For the 1.8 million people who have lost their lives to COVID it has been a tragic year, as it has for the many more who have lost their lives as an indirect consequence of the pandemic and for the families of them all. For the millions who have lost their jobs and their livelihoods it has been a year of struggle. For the millions of children who have missed out on a chunk of their education and social interaction with their peers, it has been a year of loss. For all of us it has been a year of enforced change and adjustment. As we enter a new year we should spare a thought for those much worse affected, while we search for our own lessons from the past 12 months.

I am among the most fortunate in these challenging times: I have not lost a loved one; I have not lost my job or seen a drop in income. I have worked from home for most of 2020; my children have attended school for most of the school year; my family and I have been comfortable, safe and healthy. I have no reason to complain. But undoubtedly, 2020 was a very different year for most of us and we have all experienced change. So what are my own lessons from this annus horribilis? My top 5 are as follows:

1. Your children just want you around

During the weeks in the early spring when school was closed and my 5-year-old and 7-year-old sons were home every day, I had my first experience of homeschooling. As a trained teacher this should have been easy. It was not. The school sent home copious amounts of school work, especially for the 7-year-old, which we simply failed to keep up with. I found teaching my own kids much harder than I ever expected. Fortunately, the weather was reasonable and we have a garden, so after an hour or two of homework, the boys would be outside playing football, rugby or basketball. And they would want me to play with them. This became a daily routine from which it was hard to extract myself and return to my own work.

Even when they were back at school, they would ask when I will finish work each day and the moment I came up from my ‘office’ in the basement they would eagerly greet me and ask me to play with them. Not being away at the office or on business trips has allowed me to spend more time with my kids and to realise how much they value just having me around. Given the knowledge that this is likely to change drastically once they are teenagers (or even before) I am treasuring this precious opportunity.

2. Marry someone intelligent who makes you laugh

I had a chat with a delivery guy recently and he told me a story of how one day on his rounds he rang the doorbell and a desperate-looking man answered the door.

“I can’t take it anymore,” he said. “My wife and I are stuck home together day after day and she’s driving me crazy. You’re the first person I have had a decent conversation with since the lockdown began. Sometimes I look out at the river there and just think about ending it all!”

“Oh come on man,” the delivery guy replied. “It can’t be all that bad. This situation won’t last forever. You’re still young and you have so much to live for.”

“I’m not talking about me. I’m referring to the wife!”

I have been married for almost nine years and I spent far more time with my wife in 2020 than in any other year since we met. Firstly, I normally travel for work (some years as much as 30% of the time) and yet I did not travel at all during 2020. Secondly, I worked from home for most of the year and hence we were in each other’s pockets day after day. Like all couples, we have our ups and downs, but I’m pleased to say that our relationship has not suffered as a result of lockdown. If anything, it is stronger than ever. Why? Because we enjoy talking with each other. We have very different backgrounds but can discuss any topic in depth and she brings a fresh and insightful perspective to any conversation. We also make each other laugh. So while I am very fortunate to have a beautiful wife, I am even more fortunate to have an intelligent one with a great sense of humour.

3. You don’t need to travel to find contentment

I have travelled to all 7 continents and visited more than 100 countries. I enjoy stepping out somewhere new and foreign, whether in a beautiful wilderness or an historic city. I like to feel the sun on my skin and the humidity in the air. I like to witness amazing scenery or wildlife. I like to listen to the alien sounds of a new city or a tropical forest. I enjoy watching people as they go about their daily business, whether in rural Cambodia or Mexico City. I marvel at the cultural timewarp afforded by air travel whereby one can wake up in one continent and go to bed in another. I treasure the solitude of a quiet hotel room on the other side of the world. I still have a list of countries that I have not visited yet but hope to one day. I had come to the conclusion that I needed travel to energise me and that I might never be content staying in one place. And yet…

And yet the last 12 months have taught me that I don’t need to travel to find contentment. Sure, I miss the thrill of experiencing new places or better climates, but there is less guilt from the associated environmental impacts and I have found real solace in the relationships with my wife and children. I know that I can be content with them wherever we might be. I know that the sunshine on my skin is ephemeral but the love in my children’s eyes is boundless.

4. Nature is beautiful wherever you are

As a young boy I developed a keen interest in birdwatching. As a teenager I would keep bird lists and badger my dad to take me on trips to locations where we might see new or rare species. As an eighteen-year-old I travelled alone to the Shetland Islands to undertake voluntary work on a bird reserve. Then I left home, to university and subsequently overseas, and my interest in birds gradually waned, replaced by an interest in adventure and socialising. I would enjoy the thrill of wildlife safaris in Africa or the Amazon but I would rarely just take a walk in the local area with a pair of binoculars.

This changed in 2020. Being stuck in Denmark I realised that I needed to explore more of nature locally. I began birdwatching trips and regular walks around the local lake. I started a bird list again. I began to treasure the solitude of an early morning walk through the forest or the sighting of a new species. I started putting out bird food in the garden. I fell in love with birding once again; the beauty of which is that you can do it anywhere. Birds are able to survive and thrive in almost all environments, from the wastelands of Antarctica to the bustle of Manhattan. They remind us of both the fragility and resilience of nature. They present us with a convenient glimpse of the limitless beauty of the natural world.

5. Be thankful every day

Whether or not you believe in God or a supernatural deity, be thankful for the fortune or ‘blessings’ you receive every day. I believe that regularly expressing gratitude is an important act in order to value what we have, not take it for granted and to understand nothing is ours by right: not our health, not our family, not our material wealth. If the COVID pandemic teaches us anything it should be that we are vulnerable creatures on this incredible planet, that we are part of nature not rulers over it, that this planet is not ours, we are simply fortunate to be living on it.

Many of the problems in the world today are because powerful individuals believe that their wealth or success or power is all down to them and therefore it is their ‘right’ to use it however they chose. They refuse to recognise any ‘fortune’ in their lives, be it where they were born, or to whom they were born, or being in the right place at the right time, or how they got their lucky break. The dual meaning of the word ‘fortune’ should give them a clue: shouldn’t they feel fortunate for owning a fortune? If only we could all be a little more humble and a little more grateful, we might make this planet a little more habitable. Thank you for reading and I wish you a 2021 full of fortune!